It started after Christmas. Doug complained of his stomach hurting and making his back cramp. He was vague regarding his symptoms and I became impatient. I made an appointment for him with our primary care physician and went with him. He wasn’t able to see the doctor but saw her nurse practitioner. Big mistake. If only. If only. If only. Words that ping pong around my head like a sick mantra over and over. If only.
The nurse gave a precursory examination, told him to take Prilosec, and to have an ultra sound made for his gall bladder. We diligently followed that advice and the office closed down for new year’s without giving us any further information.
Sunday, January 4. Doug was still complaining and having trouble doing much of anything. I had to play for a worship service (I’m a pianist) and later went to a tea given by a dear friend. We played a game where we figured out our Tarot card for the year using our birth date. My card was “Strength.” Little did I know how much strength I was going to need.
On the way home Doug texted me two texts that didn’t make any sense and I realized he was getting worse. When I got home I told him we were going to the emergency room he didn’t argue. That was unusual. Once there, they took him in right away, drew some blood and determined he was having heart problems. They said he’d be admitted to the hospital and Doug being Doug said “Okay, I’ll go tomorrow morning.” The doctor smiled but was firm. No. Tonight, via ambulance. The rest was a whirlwind of getting him settled in intensive care and all the things that go into it.
The next day, when I began to realize what we were up against, I created a Caring Bridge page. The Caring Bridge site is a wonderful resource for people who are in crisis. It’s a brilliant way to inform all the people in your life and wider circles what’s going on when you are someone you love is having a health crisis. I don’t know how I knew about it. I don’t even know how I was able to find the site. Divine intervention perhaps.
I’ll share with you some of my caring bridge posts as a way to bring you up to date with my story, as a way for me to remember, and as a way for me to write more about what was going on at the time.
sudden detour 
It is amazing how many emotions we can experience simultaneously when faced with the threat of losing a loved one.
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Yes, Kimberly, I have been observing my emotions with interest. They swirl around like pieces of paper in a wind tunnel. I observe with interest at times because it fascinates me how many emotions I can feel at one time. I have not experienced this previously and continue to explore it.
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