Annie Lamott says the only prayer we need is “Help, thanks, wow!”I would heartily agree with her.
I have decided to resurrect this seemingly forgotten blog (I know, I said that before) because – well, just because I want to write about my journey and all of the detours that journey has taken. And, I want to, by writing, perhaps help others.
When my late husband died in January of 2015, I know that the single best thing I did for myself was to talk and write. People want to connect on a heart level and I found that by opening up, I was able to receive and give support that I otherwise wouldn’t have.
If you haven’t read my blog in the past, I’ll give a quick summation as to where I was the last time I wrote and how I got there. As I said, my late husband died in January 2015. It seemed sudden but now, looking back, I can see the signs of his decline were there but I didn’t see them. That is my biggest regret and my biggest anger. He kept from me how bad he was feeling and how depressed he was. I see, only now, looking at photos of him taken in the last five years of his life how much he was struggling. There were some things I could write about regarding why I didn’t realize it. Long work hours, stress from being the sole provider, stress from losing family income, etc. But that’s of no use now and I’ve determined it’s not good for me to live in the past.
After 13 months of being a widow, I suddenly and without warning met someone who would change my world. I’ll have more to say about that later but that’s basically where I left off in my blog. I was struggling at the time with the very big learning curve of being in a new relationship after having been in another for 30 years. It’s not easy folks.
But I persisted. He persisted. We both knew, somehow, that it was right and appropriate for us to be together. Regret that we didn’t meet sooner in our lives while trying to honor the life I had with Doug.
So “help”. Once I met Glen and started a serious relationship with him, I requested help quite frequently. From God, the universe, the great good – whatever you want to call it. And Doug. I called on my memory of Doug to help me navigate all the new things that were coming into my life. Whenever I thought “this might not work” I had that still, small voice in my head saying “Wait. This man is here to teach you. You need to stick it out.” I heard that voice especially loudly when I thought I might cut and run. You know – leave rather than patiently work out how to be in this relationship.
So – help. And it came. And continue to come.
Here I am in April 2019 about to celebrate one year of being married to Glen. And I’m so happy. Happier than I could have imagined four years ago. I marvel at what a great relationship we have and how loved I feel.
Next up – Thanks
sudden detour 